A Clownshoe Crashcourse and Why It’ll be the next E30 M3 (just better)

"Janx38" (Janx38) 01/03/2015 at 12:42 • Filed to: CLOWNSHOE, COUPE CARTEL, M COUPE, Z3 COUPE

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Are you sick of reading articles praising the E30 M3 as the "last real BMW", "the last pure driving machine from an automotive golden age"? Do you cringe every time you look at !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! because you regret not having bought that pristine E30 M3 for sale in your neck of the woods for a measly 16k just a few years ago and now the same car is on ebay for 40k? Do you shed a quiet tear every time someone mentions they own an E30 M3 and they start to blabber about its awesomeness and all you can do is drool over those box flares knowing that you missed the train and you'll never be able to afford one anymore?

(photo by Jovan Ventura)

Fear not, while the E30 M3 train has departed, a new star is on the rise: Although the BMW Z3/M Coupe has always been a perennial Jalop favorite, it's still a relative newcomer to the future classic/collectible party. Without further ado, here's a list (à la Tavarish) why the Clownshoe will be the next E30 M3 (just better) and why you should buy one right now.

6. Styling

(photo by Eric Devier)

It looks like a bullfrog with a damaged hip. —- Auto Motor Sport (1998)

No, the styling is not to everyone's taste, but then again the Z3/M Coupe had no intention of looking graceful and pleasing to the eyes of prejudiced old men who consider the Porsche 911 to be the epitome of sports car design. The Clownshoe was built for a purpose and it shows. The shooting brake silhouette, all hunkered down on the deep dish rear wheels wrapped in unproportionally wide and sticky rubber invokes the passive aggressive vibe of purpose built speed machines of yore. As one bimmerforums member proclaimed: " You know you've got something when the rear fenders stick out as much as the side mirrors"

5. A Clownshoe for every budget

(photo by Ben Sweet, taken at !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! )

In this respect the Clownshoe is clearly ahead of the E30 M3 by coming in many different versions. Who said every Clownshoe has to be an ///M? Although enthusiasts always drool over the Motorsport version of the Clownshoe aka ///M Coupe its (in some cases) marginally less powerful little brother the Z3 Coupe is not to be overlooked. Unlike the E30 M3 and the plain Jane E30, the differences between ///M Coupes and non ///Ms are surprisingly small, in fact the similarities far outweigh the differences: All Clownshoes were equipped with torquey inline 6 engines, a limited slip diff and were available with a slick shifting manual, automatics are (thankfully) more of an oddity in the coupe world and only available on non ///M models.

(photo by BMW Gmbh)

The models of choice for enthusiasts on a budget are the Z3 Coupe 2.8 and 3.0 models producing 193 and 230 horses respectively. Both can be had in nice driver condition for !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . The latter is only 10 horses down on the earlier 1999-2000 ///M Coupes ( !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! ) making them the best value of the bunch. The real king of the hill though, is the final production run of 300+ horsepower S54 equipped Supershoes. Of course nice things don't come cheap and a nice one will set you back at least 26 grand and a pristine ultra, ultra low mileage one even sold for !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , but it's all worth it when you hear that metallic rasp of the second best engine in the world revving to redline…

4. Performance

(photo by Adgild Hop)

The German nickname for the Z3/M Coupe is " Turnschuh", which translates into running shoe, quite appropriate considering that even the 2.8 liter version sprints to 60 miles an hour in just 6.1 seconds. Of course the speed freaks among you will be happy to hear that the S54 ///M Coupe blasts to sixty in just 4.3 seconds, that is with a factory handicap in the form of a 3.15 differential, which is still almost half a second quicker than a comparable e46 M3. A simple "fix" for that is to install a 3.46 diff like on our Coupe and you'll be leaving some serious metal in the dust. Driving an M Coupe is a very visceral experience: fighter planesque center console, chrome ringed gauges embedded in red leather, rumbly exhaust and a seating position right on top of the rear axle invoke a bygone era.

(photo by Alex McCulloch)

In typical BMW fashion the handling isn't lacking either, although it is notoriously tail happy considering the entire rear suspension is a beefed up version of the E30 M3 rear end. In fact handling is the only reason the Coupe even exists: For those of you who don't know the tale yet, one glorious Bavarian morning, a crazy (and I mean that in the best possible way) BMW engineer named Burkhard Göschel decided that the normal Z3 needed a roof to stiffen up the chassis and give it world class handling. He pitched his idea to the board of directors half of whom upon hearing this nonsensical proposal threw their fists in the air and yelled a resolute " Nein!" while the other half broke out in laughter after being shown some sketches of the proposed idea. The project was given the green light after the all members of the latter group finally recovered from their laughter.

3. Practicality

Great Danes, beer, watermelons …..'Nuff said:

(photo by me, subwoofer optional)

(video by Charles Moseley, our Coupes previous owner :D)

2. Collectability

(photo by me)

This is where the parallels to the E30 M3 start to emerge. In total there were only 2071 Z3 Coupes and 2858 M Coupes produced. If we're optimistic only one third of those fell victim to overambitious track day enthusiasts, spoiled 16 year olds and other untimely demises. According to highly reputable sources there were about 5000 E30 M3s brought to our shores making the Clownshoe a rarer beast. Of course of those 4929 clownshoes only 678 were S54 powered M Coupes, making them real unicorns among today's mass produced cars. Calculating with our two thirds survival rate an estimated population of only 452 S54 ///M Coupes remains in the wild. This has resulted in !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . Although prices haven't shot through the roof yet like those of the E30 M3, it is just a matter of time until they do exactly that.

1. Join the Coupe Cartel, Become EPIC

(photo by Jalopnik user Willconltd)

Yes the Coupe Cartel is a real thing. No, it is not a criminal organization. The original goal of the Cartel was to buy up all the Coupes and then never sell one for less than 60 grand. Fortunately for you that hasn't really worked out yet, but plenty of wonderful and useful stuff has spawned from the Coupe Cartel such as the most complete Coupe hunting, research and market analysis website for both !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! and !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . Also there's a ton of cool Clownshoe merchandise and info !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! .

Disclaimer: Joining the Coupe Cartel may result in instant popularity and an Aura of Awesomeness ™ .

(cover photo by news4cars.com)

jkm7680 > Janx38 01/03/2015 at 12:50

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"last real BMW"

I have never heard that before.

Janx38 > jkm7680 01/03/2015 at 12:55

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Maybe I spend too much time browsing through E30 forums :)

jkm7680 > Janx38 01/03/2015 at 12:56

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Haha, Gotcha.

DrScientist > Janx38 01/03/2015 at 12:57

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I'll admit to not having read the article completely through, but by just reading the headline and subheads, I know I will agree 100%.

I do believe that the polarizing styling and the rarity of the m coupes are what are going to propel this car into "classic" status.

The performance is table stakes.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Janx38 01/03/2015 at 12:57

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This whole thing could be,

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R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet > Janx38 01/03/2015 at 12:59

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Mein Gott!!!! the WANT IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO big.

Brian Silvestro > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/03/2015 at 13:02

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The E36 and this car are not the same thing. They are far from the same thing.

Justin Hughes > Janx38 01/03/2015 at 13:04

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I've had the pleasure of driving the Coupe in both ///M and Z3 form. They're both lots of fun, faster, and arguably more practical than my BRZ. I didn't realize the Z3 Coupe 3.0 was only a few horses down on the S52 versions.

DrScientist > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/03/2015 at 13:05

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because of the commonality, the easy on the eyes looks and the performance of the vast majority of e36s even m's in the us, the e36 does not have the same potential as the clown shoe.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Brian Silvestro 01/03/2015 at 13:06

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Not my point.

It could also be,

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Brian Silvestro > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/03/2015 at 13:10

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Oooooh yep agreed 100%

Bubs > Janx38 01/03/2015 at 14:26

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I've lusted after these for a long, long time and hope to be able to own one someday. Next summer, I intend to reach out to the owner of a M Coupe, doesn't matter if it's S52 or S54, and offer to pay them to let me take theirs for a short drive. I'll happily start genuinely working towards getting one once I know for myself that I love the way they drive. I bought my childhood dream bike with hardly a test-ride and it's worked out perfectly, but buying a used Speed Triple for $3200 is a little different than buying a $20,000-40,000 car.

Clown Shoe Pilot > Janx38 01/03/2015 at 15:24

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Cartel represent!

FishermanIvan > Janx38 01/03/2015 at 16:11

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And with the right tires, it's all weather fun! (Like mine)

willconltd > Janx38 01/03/2015 at 17:33

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MY meme is spreading!

The cartel is working feverishly to get as many coupes off the market as possible. I know several people with more than one M Coupe in the garage. This is not something I have seen all that often with other cars. I can not explain it, but every M Coupe is amazing.

AM3R shamefully returns > Janx38 01/03/2015 at 18:33

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Yes

But keep it a secret

Don't let them know the S54's are so great!! I want one!

Clown Shoe Pilot > willconltd 01/03/2015 at 20:54

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dang. that's a good problem to have.

can't tell for sure, but it looks like that steel grey one is a slicktop too. rare color, rare option.

willconltd > Clown Shoe Pilot 01/04/2015 at 10:47

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First Production S54 M Coupe. Alpine of course. [Last one was also Alpine. ;)]

Steel Grey/Estoril Sunroof Delete. 1 of 1.

First Production S52 M Coupe. "Press Car" according to the VIN.

Estoril/Estoril S54 M Coupe. Sunroof Delete. 1 of 12.

Clown Shoe Pilot > willconltd 01/04/2015 at 11:43

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I have a steel grey over black slick top. first of 5.

DeOhYouGe BeEmDubYou Em Coupe > Janx38 01/04/2015 at 17:02

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Also unique to the M Coupe and lesser M Roadster, no other BMW was without its numerical ID. You have your M1, M3, M5, M6 but M is all you need once you start wearing those shoes.

Super Nintendo Chalmers > Clown Shoe Pilot 01/04/2015 at 23:31

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alright, alright!! Hate to see my steel grey go ... Wonder who the next lucky owner will be. It is the best color available ;)

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Janx38 01/05/2015 at 11:59

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but it's all worth it when you hear that metallic rasp of the second best engine in the world revving to redline…

And the first best engine in the world?

Janx38 > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 01/05/2015 at 14:49

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Oooops, that was supposed to be a link to This article.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Janx38 01/05/2015 at 14:56

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Thanks. Great post, by the way.

Janx38 > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 01/05/2015 at 15:08

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Thanks!